humorous stories and histories

Shannon

Mais Oui! Reminder & Special Offer
Shannon stretched, tightening and arching her body before settling back into the cushions of her chaise. She tapped the new link on her smartphone.
May We clean your home today? Mais Oui!
Our team will arrive at 4:00 today. You are currently subscribing to...

The following story recounts actual events. Only the names of the people and places have been changed to protect the guilty--and the innocent.
April, 1991
There were four of us living in a mobile home. Marv and Melissa were married--they had the master bedroom by default. Gina had been there about a...

Outsourcing Alt
Mae and Levi Cooper were in a competition, and Levi was winning. They had always been competitive; it was part of their relationship from the start. They had met at a trivia night in college, arguing over a Lord of the Rings question. Mae has been wrong, clearly misunderstanding the ...

"Isn't this supposed to be a slow build?" asked Boleslaw, struggling to unbutton tight jeans made tighter by his expanding wang.
"Better not be," said Liz, bent at the waist to get her hands back to her bra hooks. "If we took the time to get to know each other, we'd probably learn that we're selfish...

Mission to Mars


By


Claude Truveau

"Initiate cryogenic rehabilitation," orders Captain Billups, Flight Director. Apollo 29 was launched 8 months prior in an exhilarating liftoff, successful in every way, and was now fast approaching the red planet.
Major Carl Hansel and Lieutenant Sherry Steele ...

Sister Ignacio, a devout follower, who lives in a monastery, has been quite the challenge for Carl. He joined her one day where she always waits, in a clearing by a lake on the property of the monastery. Her greeting when a visitor arrives is, "Welcome to our sanctuary. What brings you here today?" ...

Couples Therapy


By


Claude Truveau

Doctor Albany led Brett and Jules into her office and offered them their choice of seats. Brett assisted Jules onto the right side of the couch and he took the left. The office was on the third floor of a Mental Health Counseling Center and offered a nice view ...

Oil Slick


By


Claude Truveax

It's 2am and I have just written a work-related email to my boss. As a result of my early morning pattern of sending at least one email to him, he believes that I am as dedicated and committed to his business as if I owned the place. Far from it. I live a life of sec...

Late Night at the Writers Workshop


By


Claude Truveau

Steamed Milk:
Isabella took the frothing cup that she had half filled with 2% milk and held it just below the steam wand. Her eyes locked with Sam and the two of them held the moment for just a few seconds. Sam reached for the knob and placed...

Welcome to March College of Natural History - Ashfern, Belleterre
Never heard of her?
That's right, cher, we ain't on no map.
What happens here don't follow real-world rules.
Time slips sideways. Heat hangs heavy.
And love?
Well... sometimes it comes tangled up in sex, secrets, and spells.
Let me sp...

It was by mere chance that Tommy ran into some old classmates from high school. They were, by then, all in their 30s. He remembered back in those days how Gabby and Troy couldn't keep their hands off each other-- he had a feeling Troy didn't have to wait for prom for sex.
Wishing to catch up on the ...

Louise Spreads Her "Wings".
Chapter 3 Sunday Lunch
I arrived on time at 1.00 drenched, the rain driven by a westerly gale from the Irish Sea, was sheeting horizontally and despite my Burberry Macintosh I arrived soaking wet. Louise opened the door, "my god Laurie, you look as if you've swum here. I'...

The five couples, each consisting of a young woman and an older family member, stepped forward as the golden gates opened.
"Welcome!" an exotically-beautiful, late-thirtysomething woman came forward from the factory entrance wearing a colorful ringmaster-type outfit that was cut to hug her hourglass...

I've always wanted you," began Amrita. She put a hand on his chest and smiled down at him, and then continued, "I've been telling Sarasvi about you for all this time, and she ached for you, too, enough to move countries, even!"
"It's true," added Sarasvi, and she caressed his cheek gently.
"Further,...

A short story that pokes satire, humor and fun at the state of todays' world. No apologies to those who can't take my humor. Comments are welcome and yes this is total fiction.
***
11 PM - Midwest time, USA. The television flickered, and then the screen popped to life. Fingering the remote control t...

Smile You Are on Candid Camera
This fictional story is the second in the "The Device" story I did earlier. I have had a hard time selecting the name for this one.
There was a show on TV on CBS in 1960 called Candid Camera where people were made part of a joke and were taped responding to a crazy sit...

Author Note: This is a sexy parody of a popular UK television game show. It is written as a narrative for the show. I think you can still enjoy it without knowledge of the show that it is based on.
The show is separated into
1. Studio Part, where they explain and discuss the performance of specific ...

Author Note: This is a sexy parody of a popular UK television game show. It is written as a narrative for the show. I think you can still enjoy it without knowledge of the show that it is based on.
The show is separated into
1. Studio Part, where they explain and discuss the performance of specific ...

Author Note: This is a sexy parody of a popular UK television game show. It is written as a narrative for the show. I think you can still enjoy it without knowledge of the show that it is based on.
The show is separated into
1. Studio Part, where they explain and discuss the performance of specific ...

Author Note: This is a sexy parody of a popular UK television game show. It is written as a narrative for the show. I think you can still enjoy it without knowledge of the show that it is based on.
The show is separated into
1. Studio Part, where they explain and discuss the performance of specific ...

"Is it like the old Playboy magazine, you have essays there by the modern day equivalent of Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley Jr.?" -- Justice Samuel Alito
When Justice Samuel Alito first made that comment, it went around the Internet as a joke. People thought of Alito as an out-of-touch geriatric w...

Hi! I'm a pervert with a mind dirtier than your papi's panties.
As a little boy, my great-grandpa once said to me: "The powers of perversion are extra strong in you, young one. When you grow up, you will change this sex-hating world in myriad ways."
When I fondled a delectable duo of tofu tits (thos...

Introduction: Deca-Camera
My name is Constance E. Moreau (yes, the irony is not lost on me), age forty-three, woman of letters and occasional woman of legs. I hold two degrees, three ex-lovers worth publishing, and a growing intolerance für emotional carbohydrates. I teach Comparative Literature at ...

Louise spreads her wings.
Chapter I
This is a sequel to Louise's adventures in Rome in Summer 1956. Mid-January 1957
I received a long letter from Marlene today; she's invited me to be her 'Maid of Honour' which translates to British as 'best maid' at her upcoming wedding to held in Frascati Cathedr...

Chapter One: A Woman In Need of a Change
Grace moaned, softly, as she worked the vibrator. Her other hand roughly pinched a nipple. On her phone, a blonde bimbo got plowed by two studs, the grunts and groans piping into Grace's airpods. She felt her orgasm rising in time to the bimbo's pumping, and ...

Vagina would be so more refined but she has always been my cunt. She has been wined and dined despite the lack of refinement of vagina which is more acceptable in polite society!
I love her warm moist sensation when I awaken. She has given life to 3 children and is the female source of love, excitem...

Chapter 1: The Loaner

The worst thing to go into a computer is water.
The worst thing to come out of a computer is smoke.
Jesse Fisher swore as he bumped the glass, then swore again as the sparks and smoke shot up from the keyboard of his laptop. The lights went out, breaker tripped, and he swore a...

"You don't watch a lot of anime, do you, Brianna?" Mr. Rice asked me as he held up the costume I was expected to wear for this job.
"No, sir. I mainly just watch shows in the Real Housewives television universe. Not immature kid cartoons like whatever this is from," I said, pointing to the costume. ...

Hit and Run


By The Ethical Hypnotist

Words failed as his mind bent under the weight of the non-Euclidean horror. Tentacles, teeth, a writhing mass of eyes, a mountain of grey slime that blotted out the sun! If only he could scream, if only he could move, if only he could die rather than face this...

Sleepily, I rub my eyes and clear the fog from my mind. Hearing the rustling of the tent around me, I'm reminded that I'm camping with my husband. He loves camping but me... let's just say this is just one of the few things I let my husband subject me to so he can be happy.
I roll over in the annoyi...