humorous stories and histories

My name is Tony and I'm a sex addict... Yeah hello to you too.
OK. So. I've been asking myself a question since I got here. Why am I forking out thirty large for rehab when I could be living it up in Vegas?
To make it so's I don't hurt nobody no more cause I like to fuck so much? To become a better ...

sweet revenge
Dr. Samantha Barnes was happy with her medical practice, she had found the perfect niche for herself. With the Baby Boomers reaching that age where some of the "equipment" was starting to malfunction, her E. D. clinic was busy all the time. She was ahead of the curve, constantly resear...

Another couple of yarns heard when I was parading about the large square to the tune of much shouting and yelling.
Please comment and votes are welcome.
Rude and ignorant comments are not welcome, especially from Mr, Ms or Mizz Anonymous.
Also, the stories are fiction, that means they are not true. ...

Submitted as part of the yay-team-sex-and-sports-story-challenge-2025-coming-soon
* * * * * * *
Take It Out at the Ball Game
(She likes it low and inside)
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[The scene: A minor league baseball park near you]
"You the new Bat Boy? You're cute. The players all call me the Ball Girl. Even t...

It was a large crowd. I don't like crowds, but it was a festive atmosphere and a good night for people watching. So I wasn't too uncomfortable and the women were out in force wearing their finest party dresses and looking like ornaments from a Christmas tree. Beautiful women in gorgeous party dresse...

This is an entry in the YAY TEAM 2025 Sex and Sports Challenge
My name is Clarence Deering and I been a pitcher for the Juneau Jackos (Motto: "We're the Jackos, don't Juneau!") going on 4 years now. Around the ballpark here the players all call me Duff, a name I got after getting knocked on my ass w...

"So, why do you let that freak run your life?" I inquired, as I threaded my way through the heavier traffic of the downtown area. "Does she treat everyone like what she did to Penny?"
Marcy nodded.
"Yes Sir." she replied. "It's just her way, I guess."
"It's her way of masking her own insecurities." ...

If you drive through the better sections of Memphis or Jackson, you'll see that most of the rich folks who live there have a swimming pool in their backyard and those pools are really nice. They're made of concrete and sunk in the ground just like the regular swimming pools in some of the parks. Usu...

Author's note:
For those of you fortunate enough not to know, a Proton Pump Inhibitor is a medication used to help manage acid reflux and heartburn. This story is NOT about that.
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"You feel so amazing," Jeff groaned, pushing deep into Kate.
"Mmmm, so do you."
"You came already?"
"Twice," she ...

Waffles 35
Waffles 35 Recovery Program (WRP),
Year 4, Day 14, Wake Up
Arthur always woke up 3 minutes before his alarm. Six Fifty-Seven.
He rolled over in his stupid giant bed and looked out the giant window overlooking the stupid beach and stupid sunrise. He laid in his bed until his alarm went off...

Just An Average Guy
John Smith was celebrating his thirty-sixth birthday. Well, if the truth was known, John was not celebrating. As John got home from work today, he suddenly realized what a rut he was in.
Someone at work today had been busy looking up data for a new project. In the process, they h...

Chapter One
Midland City, 10:36 PM
The neon night skyline of Midland City glittered like lube under a strip club mirror ball, sweltering in the summer evening air. The kind of heat that clung to the skin like a needy ex. Asphalt sweated like a drunk uncle at the titty bar buffet. The air was thick w...

My name is Tim Goodwood, and I was raised to be a people-pleaser, I do not like to offend people, and I always say yes when asked if I want to do things... here is the first part of my story.
I had to go to Leicester of all places, for my Rural Real Estate Agent course; this was arranged because nob...

Written for the 2025 Literotica Geek Pride Story Event
Thanks to @kenjisato for the speedy and thoughtful copy edits and suggestions. You rock!
This is the third story I've uploaded to Literotica. Thanks to all that've rated, commented on, and favourited my other stories so far. It's so lovely to ha...

This is a parody of a popular UK television show. It is written as a narrative for the show. It is not that heavy on actual sex stuff. (There is, just not a lot.) But it would feature a few things that allude to it.
The show is separated into
1. Studio Part, where they discuss the performance of spe...

This is a parody of a popular UK television show. It is written as a narrative for the show. It is not that heavy on actual sex stuff. (There is, just not a lot.) But it would feature a few things that allude to it.
The show is separated into
1. Studio Part, where they discuss the performance of spe...

Chapter 1
The au pair.
Although I was still growing fast, my mind for the time being had outstripped my body, as was all too obvious from the intimidating equipment on display in the school changing rooms. Although my classmates frequently called me an arrogant wee shite, I could live with a bit of ...

This is a parody of a popular UK television show. It is written as a narrative for the show. It is not that heavy on actual sex stuff. (There is, just not a lot.) But it would feature a few things that allude to it.
The show is separated into
1. Studio Part, where they discuss the performance of spe...

This is a parody of a popular UK television show. It is written as a narrative for the show. It is not that heavy on actual sex stuff. (There is, just not a lot.) But it would feature a few things that allude to it.
The show is separated into
1. Studio Part, where they discuss the performance of spe...

It was a slow day at the Longbranch in Dodge. So Miss Kitty closed up until supper time. The heat was getting to be almost intolerable. The mugginess was getting to Miss Kitty. She had stripped off her bloomers, and set them in the back room. She fluffed the front of her dress as she walked around t...

The Hunger
©2002 Greymead
It must have been sometime shortly before my last great sleep that I met her. I suspect that the hunger was upon me, for she is one of us now, and answers to me as her Master, but I can never be certain as my memory rarely reveals anything to me from before a sleep.
Let it ...

LembetySeven
Another story that came to me in the night.
Maybe I shouldn't have those Taco Hell burritos just before bed.
It was a kinda nice day; warm, but not too much, breezy but just. Three in the after noon and I had the sun behind me as I looked out on the lake. A woman sat at the other end of...

I clutched the Cosmopolitan and made my way upstairs. Mother and Father were away, Sister was fondling the phone receiver lost in her own world, and I looked forward to a quiet afternoon on the terrace. This was my haven, the huge sprawling terrace. Though we lived in a neighborhood where the walls ...

Chief Stone called for his officers to settle down so he could get through the announcements and assignments that morning. "I want to first welcome Officer June Martinez to the force after having just graduated from the academy. Officer Conley, I will be assigning her to you. Show her the ropes and ...

The bell over the door chimed like a warning shot.
The bakery was open.
Not just any bakery--the first adults-only bakery in the county.
PIERRE'S PRIVATE PROOF
Grand opening banners stretched across the glass. Small print: "Fresh bread. Sweeter flesh."
Big Red--Marla--stood behind the counter, heart...

[In the midst of the Literotica Conference 2025, I take a stool at the bar, waiting for Lily to find me. Cassie is attending the conference as well. As usual, I'm not prepared for what Lily has planned.
Background: Cassie gave Lily a gift at the end of Only Consenting Adults - the power of free will...

I was always jealous of Frank's sex life. He scored with Susan all the freaking time. Every day without fail, first thing in the morning and then again at the end of the day. Susan was the dominant type and absolutely owned Frank, demanding his attention twice daily, but I don't think Frank minded a...

The shop door creaked open, swinging against the cinderblock wall.
Marla stepped in--sun on her chest, dress clinging to every curve, sweat already collecting at the crease of her tits. Her flip-flops stuck to the garage tile with each step.
Derick looked up from behind the scuffed desk. Grease smea...

THE WAGER
"Question of the day, Willie Boy," Ryan greeted his book seller friend as he set his first cup of coffee on their table for their weekly Saturday morning chat. "Are women as horny as men?"
"DOGS aren't as horny as men, dude!" Will welcomed his friend with a good-natured punch on the arm.
"...

FRIDAY NIGHT
The Sarasota night draped itself in heat and salt, the ocean humming in the background as Marla (Big Red) stepped barefoot onto the second-floor balcony. Her sheer black cover-up clung to her soft flesh, exposing every lush curve beneath. No bra. No shame. Just a tiny black thong swallo...